I Own a Small Rabbit

Her name is Gerard. Actually…yeah, let’s tell that story.

During my Freshman year of college, I saw this furry little thing in a pet store, and they told me it was a rabbit.  And so I believed them and decided I wanted one. But I lived in the dorms for 5 years and couldn’t have one. When I graduated college, my friend wanted to give me one, but couldn’t afford it. So she bet her boyfriend to get him to buy me one.

The bet was that he could not go one week without making a sexual joke or inuendo. She in turn had to go a week without passing gas in front of people (this is the one with no sense of smell, and therefore little sense of propriety).  First one to break lost. If he lost he bought me a bunny, if she lost she stopped bugging him about buying me a bunny (maybe).

On day six, after fighting a long, virtuous fight, David was on the phone with Joy and she was commenting on her lovely day.  She said, “I’ve just had the best day. I don’t know what it is, I just love this day, it’s been so good…” And David cut her off with “It’s because you have a great rack.”

ooooooooooowned.

So when I got the news that I was getting a bunny, David said that he got to name her, and her name was going to be “GR” which i read (conversation via text) as grrr, the growling sound people make when they are growling.  So I said “Sure, her middle name can be gr.” “No, her first, middle, and last name are gr. Gr gr gr.”

So, because I really like Joss Whedon TV series-es, and at the end of every episode of Buffy a little zombie crawls across the screen going “Grrr, Argh!” I asked if her middle name could be Argh. And David, knowing better than to ask an explanation of me, said, “Sure.”

So when I get to Houston to get her, David asks, “How do you like little G.R.?” “G.R.? I thought her name was Gr.” “Grr?” “Yeah, like a growl.” “No, her name is G.R., like Great Rack.”

“I WILL NOT NAME MY SWEET LITTLE BUNNY G.R. I WILL NAME HER NO SUCH THING. Her name is Grrrrrr Argh and you cannot fight me.

And David gives me this “Grr Argh is better than G.R.?” Face. And I give him my powers-of-yes-i-will-kick-your-tail-and-pout-at-you face. And I win.  So later on in the day I’m telling my mom about my bunny and she asks her name and I say “Grr Argh.” and she, the epitome of logic, says, “Why did you name your rabbit Gerard?!”

And so it is that my bunny is named, sorta, Gerard.

The only thing I can think of right now that this tells me about God is that He is a sweet, creative God, and I’m so glad he looks down at my tomfoolery and says, “Yep, I made that one. Fearfully and Wonderfully. Knit her t’gether m’self.” God has a bit of a British accent just now because I just looked up “All I Want For Christmas” from Love, Actually.

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