We just call her , “Cat,” “Hey,” or “NO!” She doesn’t listen, anyway. But sometimes she’s sweet, and she likes to cuddle.
Transition…… Last night I was at one of the Pastor dinners the interns get to go to once a month. It wasn’t like most of them: vision casting and heart sharing. Instead, we seperated (by funciton, not order) into girls and boys and we made smores and shared embarassing stories. Oh, and there was some intentional, minor, entertaining violence. (Just for the record: NEVER FIGHT STEPHEN.) Anyway, one of my stories was a story I should probably stop telling. Not because it’s bad or wrong, but because I think it’s one of those “You had to be there,” or at least “You had to be an RA,” stories. Otherwise it’s not funny. But I didn’t think it was awkward….
Until last night. I mean, we’d told poop embarassing stories, pee embarassing stories (yes, these are all people employed by a church. everybody poops, people. everyone.) But mine was about having to awkwardly buy a GIANT bag of condoms for my residents at UT with my good friend, a guy, and the response we got from the distributor. And whether or not anyone else thought so, I felt at that moment that I was done talking like I always used to feel at church- like there was no place for me. Redeemed I might be, but accepted I was not.
This is idiocy. Pure idiocy. These people don’t not accept me. They employ me, join teams with me, ask me to watch their children. And they are not dumb. Last night may have been the first time I told this story, but they’ve heard plenty of others. And they still choose to be in my company. Not that logic mattered last night, on the way home, when Satan was screaming lies in my ear.
Last night, one thing saved me: worship. I lay in bed counting blessings, reasoning out the situation, preaching the Gospel about me to me, but none of that, no reminder of my worth, made a difference. Instead, I had to sit down and tell God his worth. How big, how good, how strong, how perfect, omniscient, omnipresent, OMNIBENEVOLENT, the words and descriptions kept pouring out of me and only then did I find peace.
There is no clear conclusion here, I just found it interesting, and wonderful. To remember that what really matters is NEVER my importance, but His. Anyone have a similar story to share?