I wasn’t sure if I’d written about this yet, so I searched “explode” on my blog and it turns out I’ve never written that word, not in the text of one hundred posts. That’s clearly not representative of how often I use the word in everyday speech.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you about the time my Daddy exploded his face. Now, I saw he exploded his face because a) he caused a small explosion to occur on his face and in his nose and b) i say things a little funny. Usually not purposefully funny, just differently than it would occur to you to say, but also usually accurate.
Like when I donated plasma and I sometimes would say “I have to go sell (parts of) my body for money.” One of C’s brothers, (another C) always got the willies when I would say it, but couldn’t deny it. He’d just say, “I hate that you put it that way.” “It’s true.” “Aren’t you saving lives?” “C, that is clearly not why I’m doing it.”
So back to the point. Daddy uses oxygen. He’s got a 24/7 oxygen machine in his house and a portable one for whenever he goes out. I don’t know by what miracle of Tenn-Care and God’s grace he acquired those medical devices, but I’m awfully glad that he did.
I was not, however, happy about the day he called me and the following converstaion occurred.
“I just got outta the hos-pital.”
“Well they let me out.”
“DAD! I mean why were you IN the hospital? Are you okay?”
“Well, yeah… ”
He then went on to describe that he had lit a cigarette with his oxygen STILL ON HIS FACE, forgetting about it, since it was new, and that a flash explosion had burned him,
“OHMYGOSH Daddy, is it bad? What did you do?”
“Well it burned, and there was some burnt plastic stickin’ to my face, so I went to the bathroom to wash it off but it turned out it was my skin.”
“I’m going to puke. Daddy…. are you scarred?”
“Well I look awful funny. I had to shave my beard. It hurts somethin’ awful up my nose, I done burned all my nosehairs off.”
“Is your eye okay?”*
“Yeah, I was worried about it but it was fine.”
We finished the converstaion and when my coworkers asked what I was talking about, I told them, probably too nonchalantly for people who aren’t used to this kind of thing, that my daddy had exploded his face.
I’d show you pics, but it was gruesome. Not that you can tell now, since the man has a beard, eyebrows, and glasses that cover most of his face.
The face of the genius, infuriating, sick, loving, ridiculous daddy I’m so blessed to have.