For Today, I have hope and need them not.
I had some pretty bad news today. I think no matter how you slice it, it’s bad. Someone I love very much is in trouble with law and drugs. It’s not new, this issue in my world. I know very many current and past drug-afflicted souls. But this person….
well when I found out last night, my heart just about stopped. I LOVE him. (Please don’t let your heart be tempted to speculate about who it is. I’d tell you if it was important. It’s just not.) and i HATE drugs.
My immidiate reaction was just that, actually. “I love him more than any other person on this planet. And I HATE drugs. My idols are crashing to the ground.”
By God’s grace, I was looking at the face of a friend who just lost his father to suicide. Things came quickly back into focus.
I called my Daddy, the only person I know who can understand the depth of my fear for the other person, the one currently in the web of trouble. It hurts my daddy to know I’m upset. He hates to hear me cry, but I knew he’d understand so I called him and said,
“It’s drugs, Daddy. Can you pray for him? Please?”
“Of course, angel. You know I will.”
“Yeah, Daddy, I know you will.”
In the car, on the way home, I had a similar conversation with God.
“Please God, save him. Make him not become a drug addict. Make him know you and please don’t let him die and please don’t let him go to hell. Please.” (maybe not the best theology, but it was late and i was upset)
and He brought to mind the promises He gave me in the Bible. Ones that cannot be undone.
That HE is in charge. That he doesn’t delight in that anyone should perish. That His plan is for his glory AND my best, and the best of all those called according to his name. THAT NOT ONE WHO IS CALLED WILL NOT ALSO BE SAVED. That he is PERFECT and TRUSTWORTHY and GOOD. HE is all good all the time.
Like I begged him to save my loved one. All the while trying to submit to his plan, knowing it’s perfect. And he said,
“You know I will.”
“Yeah, Daddy. I know you will.”
I was able to sleep, and remind myself upon waking, that I ought to let tomorrow take care of it’s own worries and concentrate instead on the hope I have today, the only day I’m given. I can pray for healing and salvation and restoration with perfect hope. Because my hope isn’t in circumstances, in days which are evil, but in God.
***this post is crazy full of unattributed quotes of scripture. I’ll explain any part of it better if it didn’t make sense. Here’s another quote I post all the time.
“When the news and the noise and the flowers die, and you still wake up alone, there is a God who hears every tear you cry, and this world is on His shoulders.” – Sandra McCracken, Age after Age