“You’re Not That Chubby”

****A funny (odd and haha) story from a few weeks ago that will take a few weeks to tell****

If you’d asked me over the summer I could basically have described my attitude about my weight by quoting the following conversation:

“I’m fine with how I look, especially because it doesn’t matter as much any more. I mean, I’m kinda chubby.”
“You’re not that chubby.” (i think the man who said this knows better than to say it to people in general)
“No, not too chubby, but kinda, and that’s fine.”

And honestly I’d been feeling pretty GOOD about what I look like lately. I’ve talked in the past about having disordered eating for a long time, and there was a time this past winter that I got up to 194 lbs. (Yeah, I’m gonna use specifics in this post.) In other words, I weighed the equivalent of TWO of my friend Marianne. So that’s fun. And I did NOT like the way my clothes fit or the way I looked, but I didn’t think much about it and people tell me I’m pretty a lot so, no biggie. I just tried not to look at the scale when I got weighed (which happens EVERY time I donated plasma, twice a week for several months).

i think you can really see the extra weight in this face

Then, I dated a man who was really good at flirting with me until we were dating, and then forgot how to tell me I was pretty. Which is a bitter-sounding but honest way of saying, “God taught me how to find my value in him, which is wonderful, because He is enthralled with my beauty.”

I mean, it's cute...but i'm a big girl. (this one is from January, at my heaviest probably)

So we’re truckin along, not caring too much about weight when, through a series of hard and sanctifying experiences, I became much wiser about my eating habits.

Over the summer, I stopped eating dairy products (having long been lactose intolerant) and then realized that gluten was the thing causing me to be sick every morning, and so stopped eating that.

So I’ve lost some weight. I didn’t eat much before hand (quantity) I am just an A-Level pro at putting or keeping on weight. Built for famine, you could say. ;) But now the ITEMS I could eat were also affected. It was nice. People noticed. “Wow, you look AMAZING,” was not an uncommon thing to hear. I was feeling gooooood, people.

Anyway, I hadn’t been weighed since May, (having taken a break from plasma for the summer) and knowing that an appt was coming up, I tried to guess what I might weigh. I had no idea, but sure I had to have lost like 20 lbs for people to notice, right? So guess what I lost.

No, seriously, guess.

Especially if you’ve seen me over the summer.

Okay, you ready? You got some numbers in your mind?

On May 7th, the last time I was weighed, I was 177. Today I weighed in at….

ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS.  ALL THAT HOOPLA OVER SEVEN POUNDS.

More next time.

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