No. I’m not a marine. I almost married an almost marine one time. Oh, mercy.
This weekend I read Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot. As a rule, I recommend and appreciate all things Elliot because whether or not I agree with the statements made in their works (hers and those of her first husband, Jim Elliot, who was killed very soon after they were wed) are unapologetically based on the Bible. She does not balk at those who don’t believe, but for those who claim they do, she often asks : If you believe this is true, why do you not act in adherence to that truth? (Not in those exact words – or not that I’ve ever read. Just in her style, her Gospel diction, you could say.)
I’m also spending a lot of time meditating on singleness. What is means and why it means that and how that displays the Gospel and how I can be faithful to that display. Which brings me to:
Faithfuless. Loyalty. In some circles known as “things at which Ritz is a miserable failure.” Lemme ‘splain. (it’s gon’ be u.g.l.y.)
It has occurred to me that I have never. never-ever. not even once, not even close, been emotionally faithful to any romantic relationship. There has always been someone else, some people, even, that I would run to, or at least THINK about running to. I’ve always had someone on back up. Even not knowing, not meaning to, I can look back and see how much my heart has been passed around, treasuring the security of attention more than attention to the One who provides my security. (Because, after (and before) all, my actions inform the outside world about my beliefs.)
But, wait a minute, isn’t my relationship with God, in some ways, romantic? Isn’t there something called a divine romance of which I so often speak?
And THAT is part of what makes this discovery /admission so ugly. One of the unavoidable tenants of pursuing singleness is questioning my own motivations and desires, and trying to understand now what I would want if I ever had romance in the future. In other words, for me, part of being good at singleness now means figuring out what it looks like to be good at romance with a man later and with God now.
I can see now, looking back, even reading some old journals, how much God has already grown and changed me. And that helps me to remember His promise, that He won’t stop til he’s through. So I know that His faithfulness is what will cause me to be faithful. I’ll leave you with this, a definition of loyalty given in the book.
“Loyalty is based on pride, the right sort of pride that recognizes intrinsic worth in the country or institution or place or person which is the object of loyalty.”
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Any part, any perspective. Preferably in English but I’ll also take Elvish or Klingon…because it’s funny.