Why I Didn’t, at First

I (at first) didn’t think I’d blog about this whole situation.

I’m not a big fan of secrets, but I knew that LOTS of misunderstandings could happen. So I’m just going to address them, to keep rumors and fears from having a foothold in the imaginations of those I love.


The only Rumors I like.


We are not dating. In fact, because I know that I am, at least until March, called to singleness, we’ve stopped being friends. We don’t talk, we don’t text, we don’t hang out. Nope, not even a little bit. It’s hard and I miss my good friend, but I want what’s best for my relationship with Jesus and his calling on my life.  Hoyt, from the very start, prized our friendship more than anything…except my relationship with Jesus.   So he stepped back, making sure that I knew a) that he was interested in picking the issue back up in March but that b) nothing was more important than following God’s direction.  Dang, I know. Manly. Gotta respect that.

That’s important because we live very close and it would NOT be wise to be in a romantic relationship with someone so accessible. It would not be good, and it would not look good. Because I am a representative of my church as part of it’s staff and because I am a representative of my God as part of His body, it’s important that I not give ANY room for rumors that would tarnish any reputation, the church’s, the Gospel’s, or my own.


because dating your neighbor is a bad idea!


It’s also important because… Hoyt is actually good friends with Q as well. DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN.   Now here it gets sticky. (Cause it was so easy before hand ;) ) When Hoyt let me know how he felt, I asked if he’d told Q.  He said no because a) it wasn’t exactly an issue yet, no need to stir the pot. And b) Q LIVES IN OKLAHOMA and it MIGHT not be the best thing for their bromance to address this non-issue from so far away. Additionally, like EVERYONE ELSE, we both think that it is the absolute best thing for Q to have the chance to figure out, with no outside forces (other than God) how he really feels.  So… Q doesn’t know. It’s okay. He also doesn’t know I’m called to singleness right now. In fact he doesn’t know I moved in August or anything else that’s happened since we said goodbye.  He left knowing that anything could happen. As stated above, though, nothing has.

Originally I was concerned with blogging because la familia (Q’s family) reads my blog. But I am so close to them, and I’m so open with this funny, beautiful, ridiculous story, that they already know. Except, like I just said, for Q. Hoyt also was afraid that la familia would think he was only Q’s friend so he could swoop in and get me when the chance arose. Clearly, we have different definitions of “swoop” and “get.” ;) Plus, la famila is a haven of sweetness, joy, and benefit-of-the-doubt. They LOVE me, they certainly understand why someone else would like me.

And lastly, I didn’t at first think to blog because, even though I didn’t reject him, the fact that we aren’t dating makes it seem a little like I did. And rejection made public is just hurtful. I would never want to hurt Hoyt! I’d punch you in the stomach if you did it! But I want to blog about it in large part because of how amazing he is. How much all of this has shown me, in some way, what it is to be cared for and protected by a friend in a Godly, responsible way.  Writing all of this, I’ve been impressed more and more as I look back and realize how hard he had to work to be a good brother, a good friend to me, how often he took my heart into consideration, and how much more he often cared for me than for himself. He’s been an amazing example of a spiritual brother to me.

So. there you go. Squashed rumors. And for funsies, a quote:

“You’re friends with Q, though, isn’t there a bros before hoes clause?”
“He broke up with you it’s f…..(almost said fair game) up for…(almost said grabs) pursuing. That’s part of the clause.”
“I never knew. I’m not a bro.”


please please please don't take offence at the word "hoes" or if you DO, please message me.



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