maybe yes, maybe no

It’s important to the way I wonder and think things that I be allowed to ask questions. Lately, I’ve been asking questions about marriage. NOT BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS CURRENTLY AN ISSUE FOR ME, but because it’s something that happens all the time, all around me, and it’s this HUGE thing and because…

because I like to wonder about things. So I’ve been wondering, and theology and logic aside, so far I’ve come to the following sweet and silly conclusions:

Things that make me think maybe I do want to be married someday:

kisses under waterfalls

dancing in the street

dates ending in fireworks

holding hands talking theology

songs for me

songs about me

cuddly camping

museum tours in the living room

spanish love poetry

inside jokes

uniterrupted eye contact

getting water without ice

having my meal ordered for me- and it being perfect

being called baby

walks without words

words without sound

playing.

things that make me think I never want to be married ever:

being responsible for the diet of multiple people

a lot of work. more work than i have now

meaning less time for things I do now- when i don’t think i have enough time as-is

having to be naked in front of a person who cares about what I look like

fights

submission

i keep trying to think of reasons, but really…

all i hear when I close my eyes is “fear”

Sometimes people have a fairy tale image of marriage. A friend recently spoke of his inaugural year “there was no fairy. There was a lot of tail.” He MEANT that they acted like donkeys. Not that that kept him from turning into a beet and walking away, lips tightly pursed in embarassment.

Anyway my point is, I’m not closer to knowing if I ever want to get married or not, with the warring ideas of the superiority of singleness and the burning passion of the soul.

But I’m still solidly in the “it would need to be REALLY worth it” camp.

(And the “i don’t know if it ever could be.”)

what are your lists on the matter?

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3 thoughts on “maybe yes, maybe no

    • it’s a thing. I don’t like ice. i get so cold that if my drink at a restaurant has ice, I get the shivers and enjoy myself far less. (you know how crabby I am about the cold) so it’s very special to me, though a simple thing, when someone remembers that. :)

  1. Pingback: Research from the Gentle One «

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