Just How I Do It

I have posts for the next month written, but for several reasons (the pot of coffee i foolishly allowed myself ?- there are really better ways to get warm) I wanted to insert this one today.

If you’re tracking at all with my SMOS, you’ve probably noticed that early on, I stated the goal of not entertaining any romantic notions during this time. So I could heal, so I could look objectively at a lot of issues (mostly a lot of issues concerning my behavior and motivation), and so I could be sure to stay single.

For a lot of the past, though not the last year or two, I’ve pretty much consistently been dating someone, even if we didn’t call it that, and I wanted to avoid that from becoming an issue again.

Anyway, you may have noticed my ….what’s the nice way to say “failure”?….on that front. Clearly, I’ve been entertaining some quandaries in the romance area. And not the “research” that I find legitimate, this is more, “Oh isn’t this characteristic dreamy and wouldn’t it be fun to hold hands and drink cocoa with this person.” (Ugh. embarrassing. and true.)

If you’re a girl, you GET how hard this is. How our minds tend to wander, how you can meet a guy and be picking out your kids’ names in a flash.

So. yes. I haven’t been great at this. Or I hadn’t. BUT, by

  • God’s grace,
  • and a lot of prayer and meditation,
  • and reading the book of Job
  • and reading lots of other non-romancy stuff,

I’ve gotten much better! I just wanted to share the little victory because thought lives can be tricky, trying things. And it can be discouraging when even our MINDS seem to be against us! So here are just some of the things that I’ve had a lot of success/encouragement with the past couple of weeks.

  1. If I’m thinking about anyone (oh that’s so dumb, who other than Hoyt would I be thinking of) in a romantic setting rather than a familial one, I start listing off the truth of the situation. NOT the pessimistic “well its probably not ever going to work” or the  flip side, “If we were together, we could have so much fun…” but the truth. Here specifically: “OH! My friend, my brother in Christ, isn’t around and won’t be for a while.” Just saying the TRUTH and nothing else.
  2. If I’m just getting down or confused, I start listing all the beautiful things that surround me. None of it romantic, unless it’s…
  3. Meditating on the love of the Lord and how sweet sweet sweet it is. Being a romantic myself (something I didn’t know until recently) this works for me. But for the less romantic minds, thinking of the pragmatism of how exact, how perfect God’s love and mercy are might have the same effect.
  4. Finally, if my mind STILL won’t bend in the right direction, I just shove lots of other information at it. I’m in grad school so that’s not so hard for me to grab the nearest textbook, but there are also lots of books about life, the universe, and everything (shout out Douglas Adams!) worth the read.  Not the least of which: the Bible! Like I said, I’m reading Job and trying to really dive in to that. Very. Not. Romantic.

Okay people friends that’s all I have for you today. Off to write some more paper! This coming week is my LAST week of my FIRST semester of grad school and if I finish strong, I might just be getting my first 4.0 since high school!


One thought on “Just How I Do It

  1. Ritz, the things that you wrote about your thought life here are things that all women can relate to (I’m pretty sure).

    It was so honest and real, and that kind of bold-faced reality check is refreshing. That whole thing about meeting a guy and imagining how nice it would be to be holding hands and sipping cocoa together. Yep. Guilty.

    And it’s not good for our hearts. Scripture says we must guard them above all else. But how do we do that in real life? I’m glad you found some strategies. Because your heart is the wellspring of life. Jesus fills it with living water that can only come from Him, so it’s amazing that we sometimes let such a precious thing get swayed away by fantasies and false senses of reality. I will be trying some of your strategies, for the record, esp. that one about stating the truth about the reality of the present situation.

    Thanks for this post, friend, and for the honesty that abounds!

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