Its 430 am and I cant sleep, so Im blogging.
You know I got here 26 hours ago, after almost two whole days of traveling, and I didnt sleep much then, and I havent slept since Ive been here. Oh sorry for the lack of apostraphes. Cant get them on this wonky keybouard Im typing on.
its 430 in the morning.
Its 730 pm back in my home timezone. Back where I want someone to be thinking of (not missing, just thinking of) me and I
contemplated asking God in my wicked sleepless stupor asked God to please make this person think of me, and that would be like a sign of something. I asked because I wanted it and I am in the business of asking for what I want.
But then I remembered that Gods signs are meant to make his name great to draw to him hearts full of praise. I was asking for a sign becuase I wanted security from attention other than Gods. So I retracted, repented, and just prayed for the persons well being, and tacked on a hope that they could feel it, that they would, at this moment, know that they were cared and prayed for.
Its a funnt thing, praying for “things” like outcomes or items or the like. Because there is a very measureable response to the prayer. You can know it, usually pretty soon. “God let this cop not write me a ticket.” Happens or doesnt, soon you know. And
like ive said before
God says no.
Like Ive been praying for sleep for a while. Prayers with a heart centered on God, prayers with Bible verse, prayers of faith, just for sleep. And honestly at home my sleep has been consistently better than almost any other stage of my adult life. I sleep well more nights than I dont. This coming from a woman who used to sleep well on average once a month. Maybe.
But for all that prayer when sleep doesnt come,
when I ask God “Please Daddy, may I just have some sleep?”
and he says “No” (i dont usually KNOW he says it until I dont sleep).
Im hard pressed to think of a single day that I sincerely asked for and wisely planned for sleep, and I didnt get it,
and I was incapcitated the next day. In other words, God doesnt always provide me sleep, but he ALWAYS gives me energy and time enough to accomplish what he wants accomplished, and peace when I look back on what my tired little self can do.
So in those prayers, when he answers, “no” he is still giving the answer that brings back to him a thankful heart full of praise.
IF i will remember to look at him.
Which fortunately, right now, I did.