times like when twice in one week i hear that someone can’t be my friend because they have feelings for me,
i think: i’m broken.
my heart is ugly.
it does things, things of which I am not even aware,
to make CRAP LIKE THIS happen,
over and over.
(if you’re annoyed cause I sound whiney, either stick with me or stop reading)
and i can’t make out the COPIOUS numbers of friends I have who never get complicated,
because the GLARING (amusing when told at parties) drama is stomping on my little soul,
and i start to self-implode. (which for the record is painful)
The then dancer comes over, to take me for sonic drink (aka a million spoons of sugar)
and i get to join some friends,
and smile at twelve hundred people,
and sing sweet songs to a soverign savior,
and taste the cuteness of alliteration on my tongue,
and then my friend reminds me that Jesus is sweet,
and he’ll be gentle when he opens the bottom drawers (explanation to come, maaaaaaybe)
and i should look for him tomorrow (now today).
so i woke up this morning.
and i looked for him.
out my window
AT THE WONDERLAND OF SNOW that said, “Hey, baby, i love you. I love from the rooftops and across the parking lots and on all the tips of all the trees. and even more.”
and I say…okay. let’s go take a walk.
I was walking and listening to some music, the lyrics are
“I give it all you to God,
trusting you to make something beautiful
out of me.”
I was so comforted by those words.
because my heart isn’t always beautiful. But He is always making something beautiful out of me.
And then I thought about the Cohen Brothers.
See the truth about my heart, and about yours, little creature, is this:
it’s like a Cohen Brothers’ Film
it’s was pains-takenly, intentionally, and beautifully made.
it’s a wonder to behold,
though often difficult to fully understand,
and it’s worthy of applause,
as seeing it points to the creativity of it’s maker, a maker good at what He makes.
and not everyone is gonna “get” it. ;)