Confessions of an Eternal Intern

no one has permission to take this post seriously. you may only read it and laugh. Lookin’ at you, sparky. (no, i don’t call anyone sparky)

things that happened today:

my alarm didn’t go off

i went to class and got cold and tried to put on my jacket but i got stuck and my roommate had to help me put it on.  I’m a grown woman and i need help dressing. in public.

totally didn’t notice my ex in his bright red t shirt in the foyer, or whatever guy looked just like him. which actually means maybe i ignored a kidstuff volunteer. whatever, i have terrible eyesight and a meeting to get to.

overshot my coffee to food ratio. tried to fix it w more food. banana chips have a lot of sugar and are therefore a poor fix for such an issue.

left the church and drove with the windows down. realized later when i looked into a mirror that i looked green. seriously. the color. i put on lipgloss and pretended that was an actual fix.

i worked straight through lunch and didn’t notice cause i got so much done. I am a machine. and by machine i mean i used 3 different colored highlighters, got signatures, and by the grace of God didn’t fall asleep in my wonton soup.

got back to work and there were plenty of power outlets close to tables but not one close to the table where I wanted to sit so i did the only reasonable thing. i moved a table and created a tripping hazard with my power chord.

maybe i got asked on a date. typical ;)

maybe im also going out on a non date friend date after i go to a wedding on friday (stag).

maybe im going to coffee with a mentor this week. (this one is for sure but also maybe because i forgot i have mass weds morning to get ashed and im not sure i can make it to houndstooth on time)

and got invited to catch up with someone who hasnt seen me in so long that yesterday he said “your hair is getting so long!” (the day after i cut off 6 inches)

at the 5 i ended up double arming two crying not-crying-as-long-as-I-am-holding-them babies. (much sorrow to the dude not reading this who really wanted to hold one of them. it wasn’t you. she was just tired) oh and the other one def got her tights super dirty climbing the stairs because when a tired 1yrold wants to climb the stairs you let her…hoovering…. arms out like a soccer goalie (does soccer have goalies? or is that hockey?) or that roller derby girl C-A was telling me about, cause you’ll do anything (safe) to make her happy. or, you will if you’re me.

got asked what I did before childcare by someone who clearly meant “what could you ever be happy doing other than childcare,” which made sense, as i was tossing a kid in the air and telling stories to entertain the room.

ordered pizza from a person who had never taken a tax free discount order before while feeding another baby (in a sling) cheerios from a little bowl. turns out i CAN multitask. just certain tasks.

we didn’t have enough help for pianoanna and i to attend service, so MY boss told me to go find SOMEONE ELSE’S boss  to go boss people (who are not bosses) around to come help in the kidstuff wing. I did, he did, they did, and I got to to go the 7pm for the first time in months.

oh but how did i find the other-people’s-boss? by going to a staff place i don’t usually go, and standing awkwardly in front of a line of monochromatic men (coulda been a band photo, and not just because 2/3 of them were in a band) and look down as i held my own hands and said, “Oh, this is awkward.”

because just when you think you can’t make enough of a fool of yourself, the Holy Spirit ups the anti and says, “Nope, baby, you got a-ways t’go.” because in that moment, he’s a hillbilly.

service is fantastic, although i don’t take many notes because my pen goes in-and-out and i’m PRETTY sure all my scribbling to get it to write is distracting the ppl behind me. oh and, just me or was matt carter sportin’ some clark kent hair today? if my squinty bad-eyesight view of the screen was any indication, yes, he was. and fitting, as he was pretty much a Spirit-inspired superhero on stage doleing out the truth.

did i mention the part where i answered (incorrectly) out loud a question that no one else answered? oh. well, it happened.

saw a former tutoring student as i scampered in late (i had to run around with bosses bossing people!) and he said, “Hey! Did you marry that guy?” Can’t even remember which one he’d be referring to but smiled and told him that no, I didn’t.

after the service i had a race w my friend tom to see who could pick up the most bulletins from the floor. we tied but not really because he’s like 3 feet taller than i am and so had a clear advantage. at reaching the floor….

and then I totally almost maybe might have gotten permission from one of the dudesonstaff to keep calling him by his title and full name because a)he rightly guessed i was just being funny and b)although he pointed out that i live/work in a culture other than that of my origin, he’d prefer but did not demand assimilation to first-name calling. but now really i don’t know if keeping up the funny name-title thing is annoying or just funny. and the OTHER dudeonstaff who used to have a nickname for me no longer speaks to me. on a good day there is eye contact. think a situation can’t get more awkward? ohitcan. just call in the experts (me).

another one of those “just when you can’t be more of a fool….”

got home and half crafted a gift and blogged about how sometimes i really feel like i don’t have to explain myself.

and i dont

but then…people also don’t usually know what i mean. :)



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