The Heartless Counselor

:: from Feb 2011::

Look, I’m in school to be a helping professional:

which means that by some twisted logic (leading of the Spirit) it seems like a good idea to go into debt and give up the free time of my entire mid-late 20’s so that I can make roughly what I make now as an intern (malpractice insurance is heft, y’all) while I hear about everyone else’s bad days.

Why?

BECAUSE I CARE.

Because I believe in healing and I love you and want you to experience it.

I have the gift of empathy. Probably if you’re around me and want to cry, I’m going to pat your back (in a not-patronizing way) and cry with you.

Or if you’re happy I’m going to hop about in celebration. I don’t even have to know why.

All of this is just background to say that it took my by surpise when I found out today that:

I AM HEARTLESS

there is exactly one situation in which i find myself unable to understand or even really care about the other person’s feelings: romance. Romance toward me.

If a dude likes me, he’s in for a whole mess of trouble. Because I am on overly independent a-hole in this region. I mean, so beyond reason that it’s funny. Unless you’re that guy. And if you are, or were, for me or any other woman who just has some deep and insane disconnect in this one area,

im sorry.

I mean, you expect a person who cares so much about everything about everyone to be a great girlfriend or romantic friend or whatever.

you probably don’t expect them to be a series of tiny explosions of battles. poking, prodding, ridiculousity, and hiding. (yes. i hide. i hide on dates. or leave. ohmygoshimawful. and im working on it.)

But the one good thing is if someone else has broken your heart with this awful behavior, I CAN help you through that. I’m a counselor, after all. ;)

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