A while back, I wrote a recap on the book of Ether from my uh…unique perspective. But I originally started writing to share the following:
What’s really alarming is that, out of all these characters, I most identify with the bad guy.
In Haman, there is nothing redemptive. There is no “human” aspect that you’re supposed to see and say, “Oh, well, that’s understandable.” He’s not a villian you feel bad for.
He was just a man deeply entrenched in his own sins and idols. And I see a lot of myself in him.
There is one passage where it really struck me this morning.And Haman recounted to them the splendor of his riches, the number of his sons, all the promotions with which the king had honored him, and how he had advanced him above the officials and the servants of the king. 12 Then Haman said, “Even Queen Esther let no one but me come with the king to the feast she prepared. And tomorrow also I am invited by her together with the king. 13 Yet all this is worth nothing to me, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting iat the king’s gate.”
Haman readily admits that it doesn’t matter how much is going well in the world if this one thing is going wrong.
Not only do I see how often this is the case for me, but with so many different circumstances. If there is even ONE thing that is out-of-whack, no matter the extent or significance of that one thing, I am tempted to throw in the towel and not enjoy anything. This is particularly true in relational situations. If I know there is something between me and another person, I often cannot move past it and engage in what else is going on – i check out and get flustered and obsess over this one thing, ignorning and by that same virtue ruining all the other wonderful things going on around me.
I guess I need to give God more credit than I am. Since pointing it out to me, God has been faithful to work on this issue in my life, to show me when I’m acting like a spoiled brat and give me a little perspective, as well as to calm and comfort my heart so that I can be content no matter the circumstances.
Because I don’t want to be a Haman, who cannot be appeased by the wealth and comfort and fame and favor of the world if one person doesn’t agree that I’m the bees knees, I want to be strong and steady no matter the things stacked against me. I don’t want to be moved from the firm foundation that God is all I need, and more, and I already have him. I don’t want to ruin the gifts he’s given with a sorry attitude, I want an attitude of joy that searches for and sees his gifts in all situations.
What situations are there in your life that will steal your joy if you let them, no matter what else is going on? What does that reveal you aren’t believing about the Gospel and how can you fight that?
If you don’t believe the Gospel, how do you deal with depression/frustration amidst blessings? What happens when you “should” be content or happy, but aren’t?