Okay, this post is a little bit for the ladies, but REALLY it’s for the dudes. I’m throwing you a bone here because if you stick around this place long enough you’re probably not a jerk (I want to believe) cause I’m not entertaining enough for jerks. So I’m going to tell you a story and then you can replicate it because it’s GOLD.
The thing is, though, this only works if you’ve kept your paws off her body and your tongue in your own mouth. It’s only going to work if you ACTUALLY care about her and want to protect her. Cause if that’s not the case, you’ll either falter on the front half or like like a GIANT JACKWAGGON after the fact.
Okay, you’ve been sufficiently prepared.
Okay, there was this dude. Never mind who he was but he decided he liked me and then decided he wanted to do something about it. I can appreciate that. So a while back, after the requisite confession-of-feelings (after which I did NOT make him wait for 5 minutes or a month for my response, that’s called progress thank-you-very-much) and a surprising few weeks only talking on the phone, we were finally able to spend some time together. At this point, we’d hugged, and that’s it. Well we’ve hugged and he’s spouted some pretty romantic notions and to my surprise, I’m loving it. I am TOAST! So we decide to spend some time together, and homedude and I were hanging out, sitting out on my roof (it’s big and flat and easy-peasy to climb out on to) looking at NOT stars because it was so cloudy, but generally talking and all cozy in a million blankets (seperately!! it was just cold out) and he wanted to hold my hand. I was pretty smitten so yeah, I let him. We were talking for, seriously, like two hours, when he asks “Is your hand cold?” I think this is a pretty silly question because I’m wearing gloves AND he’s holding my hand, but I still take him seriously. “Uhm, no, not at all.”
“Okay,” he says. And without letting go he quickly, gently, and methodically removes my glove so he can hold my hand without that pesky wool knit in the way. Once it’s gone, he breathes the deepest sigh of relief and closes his eyes like he’s biting into a warm, soft cookie.
YALL, SWOON CITY!
He didn’t try to take off my clothes, he took off my glove. After making sure I’d be warm enough without it. While sitting on my roof just talking to me all night long.
So yeah, it (whatever it was) didn’t end well. In fact it crash-and-burned in a spectacular array of confusion and I was left wondering WHAT on earth happened (turns out phone calls shouldn’t happen when you’re sleepy and the other person is losing their dang mind, but whatever ;) . But it was a sweet, surprising, wonderful moment and if nothing else I appreciate that I have it to remember and smile at the surprises God still has up his sleeve,
like a grown woman getting butterflies over holding someone’s hand.