Firsties, WHO KNEW that acting gold John Malkovich and House’s Hugh Laurie were in the video of Walking on Broken Glass, made famous by Annie Lennox? Not me! Till I found the following, which I would like you to enjoy, as a means of understanding what was playing in my head during the story I’m about to tell you.
One day, princess Maritza (who was not a princess yet, as she was doing servant-y things) had 15 minutes to her name and decided THIS was a fantastic time to go buy supplies from the store across-the-street. She went into the store, was
verbally assaulted assisted by the bored diligent employees, got what she needed and skipped back to the car. That’s not true. Mostly she walked, with a hop skip and a jump thrown in maybe.
She got to her car, tossed (gently) in the acquired supplies, and went to the front, where she decided to take off her purse before getting in the car (does anyone else drive with their purse still on, sometimes? i’ve even tried to do it with a backpack cause if i don’t have too far to drive, why waste time and effort disrobing accessories? amiright?!) but it was a cross-body little satchel bag and so the strap came across her face and one ear AND PULLED OUT HER EARRING.
The earring her mother bought her
FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
WOE TO HER!!!
So, I…i mean she…oh whatever, I SCREAM and pat down my body like I’m on fire, hoping that the earring landed on my clothes. It didn’t i flip my hair back to pile down on the ground only to realize that the earring WAS IN MY HAIR but now it’s not because I flung it down too. I kneel, only to notice that, though the only other vehicles in the lot are those of the offending employees, I have parked in a spot where, apparently pretty recently, a car has been broken in to. I’m serious, before troubling deaf heaven with my bootless cries, I looked around and sure enough, there was a windshield worth of broken glass where I was, and none anywhere else. It was as if the broken glass fairies had come down and swept it all right where I knelt.
So I’m crawling,
in a parking lot
all over broken glass
searching for an earing
and did i mention the pavement was multicolored so the earring, pavement, and glass all looked pretty much the same so I had to rake my hands all over that glass?
Except then I
found saw the earring
it was in a tread of my tire. or sitting in the space created by the tread. I reached for it but of course just pushed it further back so I get in the car, reverse six inches, pick up the earring, realize that the aforementioned employees, who have no other customers to tend to, are probably laughing at me, but shrug it off and get my happy bottom back to work just in time for the meeting.
Cause I’m a baller.
(who spent the rest of the day with one earring since I forgot to take the remaining one out to rest with the formerly-lost-now-found-but-still-backless one this story was about).
BUT, then I had a fun song stuck in my head so, ya know, can’t complain too much!