This Old Dog’s New Tricks

I’ve noticed some things about myself recently (like…over the last few months especially) and I feel like since I turned 26, I can definitely say two things about being my age:

I’m old enough to know I don’t know much,

But I’m old enough to finally start realizing what I do know.

My first semester of Grad School, the professor teaching my diversity class (counseling diverse populations) would chant to us every week, “I want to encourage you that someone could have had a different experience, though equally valid, as yours.” In other words, everyone’s world is comprised of millions and millions of different experiences and moments. And those are all shaping, important things. Even if they are NOTHING like the ones you did. This has encouraged me to become a lot more self aware in two ways.

First, in understanding and acting out of the truth that my assumptions, prejudices, and formulas for understanding and navigating the world will NOT match or serve everyone I meet.

Also, in understanding and living out that OTHER PEOPLE’S assumptions, prejudices, and formulas for understanding and navigating the world will NOT  always match or serve me!

And both of those things are okay!

I don’t know everything. I can’t fix or serve every situation. In fact, there are worlds of things I’ve never encountered or if I have: it’s only in a situation where I have failed brightly and miserably.

And that’s okay.

Because the other half of what i’m learning is that: I am learning. 

Though there are so many situations for which I have no skills or wisdom, I can learn. And I am learning.

The number one thing I’ve gotten to know better is: myself. I’ve learned to better (though not completely adequately) anticipate my needs. My schedule needs, how much and often i need to eat or work out. What items I need so i don’t over or under pack for a trip. I’ve learned how to look at something on a hanger and know just exactly how it will look on my body.

I’ve learned my habits and hangups and how to anticipate  and, when necessary, fight against the harmful things.

There are things that every person around me has known since the moment they met me that I just never knew until maybe last year. Like, that I am an optimist (i thought I was a realist, but don’t we all) or that I won’t really stay embarrassed that long no matter what the situation, or that I am, despite my best efforts, maybe the least stealthy person I know. (Ask Daddy-o. He does a PERFECT impression of me trying, and failing miserably, to blend in.) Or, and this has been a really hard lesson to learn:

that I am, and it all is, going to be okay (as in, i’ve started to stop freaking out when something goes wrong or I don’t know how something is going or… the wind blows inthe east.. And I’ve made enough of a pattern of it that I trust myself to handle things now).

 

what are some things you’ve learned about yourself recently?

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