I was talking with my friend the other day who was describing the guy she was dating (or, perhaps more accurately, ONE of the guys she was dating. I like to assert that all “oh he’s just my friend” obliviousness I get is from her) and based on what she was saying, it sounded like she really liked him. Until she said, “but I don’t really like him.”
Oh. Okay. “Well, what don’t you like about him?”
“This is going to sound shallow. But, he’s short! And he’s just not attractive.”
“That only sounds shallow because it is.”
“Yeah well…. I still go out with him.”
So I’m feeling pretty high-and-mighty about how my friend is sooooo shallow and lo and behold, like he does, my sweet Love shows me how I’m a big fat sinner who needs grace and needs to give grace and oh yeah, i shouldn’t be judgmental and OH YEAH, I do the exact same thing.
For backstory and to alleviate the tension I’m feeling for being such a jackwaggon, lemme give you some details. You know how they say every girl wants to marry her daddy? Something to the tune of you see your dad as perfect and look for in men the things you love in him? Poppycock!! Except that I have noticed more and more as time goes on that some of the very key things I identify as “daddyisms” (beard. guitar. deep voice. tattoos) are the things I’m most attracted to. :: amended. now there is the respectable hottness to account for::
So a few months ago, when I started (and have since ended) dating this guy, we were talking on the phone because he was out of town, and he said, “I shaved my beard.”
To which I replied “Oh my gosh are you serious?! GROSS!”
and he said, “No, I’m not serious, is that really how you’d respond?”
“Uhm…yes. Apparently, it’s exactly how I’d respond. NEVER underestimate the beard.”
And then later, I was facebook searching for someone and I came across a picture of an ex boyfriend, only he was scruffly when I dated him and in this picture, his face was NAKED. And for maybe the only time I’ve ever seen him, I thought, “Wow. I don’t find him attractive AT ALL. Thank God. I know he’s going to be in town for Christmas and if his face is naked like this, I got nothing to worry about.”
Yes, I thought that. Ugh.
Because I’m a shallow shallow creature.