Let’s Get the Awkward Out There

(this is about massage. those of you hoping to hear about recent relationship updates: today is not your day. But keep reading, it may behoove you.)

To complete my massage therapy training, I’ve got to get 50 hours of “internship massage” in. That means 50 hours of either 1hr or 90 minute massage to add up to a cumulative 50, not 50 separate appointments (does anyone but me care about that? no? great, let’s keep going!).

So i NEED people to book appointments with me. Which, some people have been chomping at the bit to book with me. But not quite 50 of them.

And so I’m left with the quandary: what’s the most appropriately informative and inviting way to tell the world:

“I’d like you to do me the favor of paying my school so that I can touch your naked body for (either 60 or) 90 minutes. Therapeutically, of course.”

Mariah Carey’s “Touch My Body” plays in my head even thinking about it. I will not link to the video because I can’t be sure it’s appropriate on ANY level.

Also, “Naked and Famous,” a song to which I will link.

Guess how fun it was trying to search for that song without getting eyeball-burning things from The Google. Yes, very fun. :)

ANYWAY, until I navigate the sitchy-sitch, please follow the er….following directions (I’ve been up a while) and make an appointment so that I can massage you in the most appropriate and not awkward way.

I do my hours at Texas Healing Arts on Burnet between Anderson and 2222.

Prices are $50 for a 90 minute massage and $35 for a 60 minute. I promise 90 is not too many minutes for a massage. I’m talented! Also YOU CANNOT TIP (it’s illegal for interns to get tipped) so that is a flat rate and you don’t have to worry about it being more.

You can book online at http://www.texashealingarts.com/online_appointments.html

Just select “Ritz V” as your practitioner (close to the end of the drop down menu) and then you will see my available appointment times. And then you can pick one. And then we can all do a not-too-vigorous-because-this-is-RELAXATION-massage happy dance.

Just like Mariah. (what?)

okay fine… cause tell me this isn’t so cute. You can’t. Cause it is!

2 thoughts on “Let’s Get the Awkward Out There

  1. Who is the guy that I continue to see you with???? Is there something you need to share??? He’s a really cute accessory ;-) but what’s he have to do with massage????

    Miss you and I will book for Sept. so we can catch up.

    • hahahah. yes, i will have to share it ALL with you when i see you and you will LOVE it! Yay! I’ll let you know when my September schedule is up!

      oh and he doesn’t have a thing to do with massage, he’s just so dang cute I have to share. :)

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