I-35 has a special place in my heart.
Which is something most people only say in jest, if ever, as they tend to consider the highway a 100% chance of getting stuck in traffic. It’s kind of true, but I grew up in Houston, where I-45 was your only choice of getting most places (unless you wanted, literally, to drive in a circle AROUND the city) and let me tell you: traffic across 10 miles of city is nothing compared to traffic across 60 miles of city. So I contend that 35 isn’t that bad, and though I don’t prefer it as a means of travelling in Austin, it’s still special to me.
Why am I spending so long talking about traffic and highways? Right, exactly.
Yesterday was a long day. A good, productive, long day. I woke up early so I could gather supplies for the day and work out before trekking south to San Antonio for an exam (a big deal, actually).
Then, since I was in San Antonio, Kerri came in to town and we did absolutely nothing with each other for a while. It was beautiful and I miss days spent just putzing around with my best friend, since we aren’t in the same place very much. It’s always so easy, and so beautiful just to spend time together. (Though I DID miss the squeezies!)
Later Kerri had to get back to the kids so I drove North to San Marcos (if you’re not familiar with the territory, it’s due south from my house for 50 minutes to get to San Marcos, then another 40 to San Antonio (the part I went to) from there) because I had class at Texas State that night. But I got caught in a torrential flood of terror, so I ended up taking a little nappy-poo in my car. No…just a nappy, not a nappy poo. That sounds like I lost control of my bowels while sleeping. WHY DO I SAY THESE THINGS?! Anyway I woke up and popped into sitting position and scared the jeebers out of a passer-by in the parking lot, which makes sense, since I looked like this:
Then I made the four mile trip from where I was to where I needed to be. In an hour and 15 minutes. Yep. 75 MINUTES TO DRIVE 4 MILES. So in class, when the professor (who took 3 hours to make her 40 min trip, and understood my malady) gave us pictures of dogs and told us to “Pick one that represents you all the time, and one that represents you now,” I selected the following:
They just-so-happened to be dates next to each other, but were perfect. The top is me all the time – jumpy and a little over-the-top excited about life. The bottom was me last night. Still happy, content, having had a good day of fun activities but t.i.r.e.d.
Then I came home and took the jurisprudence exam online while Homenovio
slept on the couch due to his lingering sickness listened to conversations between my Belle and I, which I’m not sure I’d have had while he was listening, had I been aware. ::sneaky fake sleeper::
SO HERE IS MY POINT, which …truth-be-told, is only related to all of the above because I thought about it while those things were happening.
I love I-35. There was a season in my life when I was bouncing between Houston, Austin, San Antonio, and Dallas on an almost weekly basis. People were dying. People were being born. Documentaries needed editing. I had school.
And 35 was this constant companion. So much so that for about a year, if I was on the highway long enough, I would have a little panic and think “Crap…what city am I in, and where am I going?” Because I was so tired, and so auto-piloted, for a long time.
Which maybe would make some people hate 35. Maybe it made me hate it for a while. But yesterday, hopping from city-to-city, I didn’t feel fear from memories past or exhaustion over a long day, I felt empowered. I felt blessed.
My youth wasn’t misspent. But it was hectic. It was intense. Parts of it I certainly don’t remember. But in His way, God is always faithful, and uses all of those things for His glory and my good. I am now no longer daunted by long drives. Actually, save romance (sorry, homenovio (who actually doesn’t read this)), I’m not daunted by much. It’s not a de-sensitization to life. It’s an extreme sensitivity. It’s the result of having lived through a lot of things that meant a lot to me in a short amount of time, and coming out on the other end dizzy, but understanding.
Understanding that some things matter in every moment, even when you can’t feel them. (God’s glory and the Gospel.) And some things will feel like they matter every time they pop up(like angry dasies and scare you, a random passer-by ;), but those feelings are just real, not true. And sometimes you can tell the difference, but you can’t do anything about it.
And sometimes you will spend a LOT of time in the car. Overnight to go to a funeral. All day to make it to see a birth. For random hours when you just need to take an exam or want to go to a class that you don’t actually want to be in but have fun in once you’re there.
And sometimes, you just appreciate the roads that take you all those places.
what roads have you been on, lately?