Eddie England

A massage client came in the other day whose first name started with the same sound as his last name. And his last name was a country. It WASN’T Eddie England, or even close, but that’s what I’m going to call him because it has the same effect, because it’s inappropriate and a violation of privacy to use client’s actual names, and because I need the name for the purposes of this post.


Eddie England. OH Eddie England. You slay me.



He swaggered into the office while the internet was giving me grief, and said, “I’m Eddie, but I guess you already know that.”

I could feel the charm pumping out of him. I think he has woo. But I also have woo.Who knew two woos were bad boos? What? Oh, what I mean is, he’s PROBABLY used to “working” a situation. But so am I. And when you get two of us together, there’s usually a little bit of awkward. Back to Eddie.

“Oh, actually I just started my shift (an exaggeration, but I didn’t want to make the business look bad by saying the internet was out), so I didn’t know.”
“Well maybe you should,” he stare-said at me. Predator eyes and all.

“Hmm. Maybe you need a massage to calm down.”

And with that, he sat, finally broke eye contact, and sheepishly admitted, “Yeah. I, uh…I do.”


So I started his on his paperwork and busied myself with attempting to lure the interweb back into communication with the front desk computer.


Because if a man (person regardless of gender, race, ability, etc) wants to be friendly and interact and be fun, I’m all in. If a man wants to be all-up-in-my-space with his overpowering “notice-me” energy, ,


I’ll probably sass him back down. Just sayin’. (For the record, I’ve been sassed back down, too. It’s not as though I’m a better WOO than others. I just won this round.)

i want a bird. this has nothing to do with anything. kaythanks.

After his massage, he came out with a totally different energy and behaved himself. That’s right, Eddie. Be nice, now ;)

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