Classy Koozie

This post is dedicated to Phillip Glickman, who tried SO HARD to be gracious when asking about my koozie-covered-jar while I was washing dishes this morning. And who takes amazing photos and judges the suitability of a location for anything  based solely on the merits of it’s lighting.  And to his wife, and dog, all of whom made my morning so so so good. 

 

I’ve discovered that I can fit Koozies over glass jars.

Cause, well, why not? That’s why.

And also because I was drinking some water out of a Prego Sauce jar the other day but the water was too cold for my fingers, so I put a Koozie on it.

If-it’s-too-cold-then-you-shouldda-put-a-Koozie-on-it.

Or maybe I just wanted it to stay cold.

Okay FINE, clearly I don’t actually know why I did it, but I did.  And I realized: I SUPER love drinking out of glass. So much better than a Nalgene. Why? I don’t know, because the wind blows and the eagle has landed, or some other such set of words that doesn’t mean what you think it means.

that face is because I was taking these in class while my Prof was handling an issue with some other students….
But I had left the sound (so the countdown AND the click) on. That’s just the legitimate “oh crap” face I make sometimes, cause I was for sure not posing, I was trying to look nonchalant. “Oh, what? someone hears a noise? I don’t hear a noise. No, that’s not my computer….”

 

MORAL: Koozies fit over jars.

Then you can put almond milk in them. And then put the lid on. And it stays sealed a lot better than a travel tumbler (this is proven by scientific research, meaning many many messes I’ve made) and when you get to school, you can microwave the milk (but be careful, because remember: it es-splodes if you’re not careful) to make some yummy hot chocolate (you also need a packet of chocolate for this) for like 45 cents instead of the $3.50 they charge you at the school cafe.

1) tell me that’s not class. You can’t.
2) wedding Koozies are always a little bigger/have more give
3) thx for getting married, celeste and conner, with whom I have still not ever had a conversation

 

Oh but also make sure you get all the sticky off the jar pre-microwaving. Cause that stuff gets melty. AND make sure that you get all the original product smell out, because a whiff of marinara with a sip of coco is a discombobulating experience at best.

 

I know. It’s a lot of work. But you can do it. Cause you’re classy. Well, at least I am.

true story: that shirt used to belong to my pastor’s wife. hand-me-downs make up a HUGE portion of my wardrobe. That, and “things my mom bought and then decided were ugly.”

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