Eugene

“What are you going to name it?”
This is ridiculous, the idea of naming a ring. Especially a ring like this. The ugliest most unique ring I have ever seen. I mean, really. Who thought, “you know what I need? I need to make CRAB ring with…..a thingy-mabobber (tail? hand? ass-end of a rattlesnake?) at the end.” ?

Some one did.

 

And that’s how I ended up with Eugene.

Is this crustacean a comment on my mood?

It all started two weeks ago when Homenovio and I were fighting and I decided I wanted to be done fighting and instead I wanted a present. Yes, that is, really, literally, exactly what happened.

 

No, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to want a present, except that I knew that he had gotten me something for my birthday but hadn’t given it to me. Even though he didn’t have a reason. You might ask yourself what logic there is in buying your girlfriend a birthday present but having no plan to give it to her. I might also, if I thought there were any chance of making sense of this man. But guess what? I don’t think that. So I’m not asking for logic, I’m just asking for presents.

 

“What did you get me for my birthday?”
“You want it now?”
“Yes, I was to stop fighting and I want a present.”

He went out to his laundry room (doesn’t matter. I’m not a snoop. I’m so not a snoop that knowing there are other things there for me, I’ll probably stop offering to help him with laundry) and returned with something in his hand.

“I wanted to get you things that you’d like based on the novelty of them.”

out comes the crab

srsly. what IS that thing under his bottom?

“You…got me a ….crab…ring?”
“Yeah, I was at a vintage shop and thought it was really unique.”
“No, you’re right. It’s the most unique ring I’ve ever seen. It’s….it’s hideous, actually. I love it.”

 

A few days later, he commented on how he didn’t really expect me to wear it. Pshaw! First ring a man has ever given me, of course I’m going to wear it. (Andplusalsotoo, I think it’s actually a wonderful sentiment and reminds me that he loves me even when he’s not around to say it. A ridiculous thing that I can wear all the time to tell me all the time what I mean to him? Perfect for me!) I told him I plan on making it a staple in my wardrobe.

“Oh,” he said, pleasantly surprised. “So what are you going to name him?”
“Name a ring? I hadn’t even thought about it.” ::eyebrows:: “Okay, I do name everything. What should we name him?”
“The obvious answer is crabby.”
“This is why you don’t get to name anything. We need to name him something awful. Like Eugene.”
“Yoooouuuuu-geeeeeeene! I love it.”
“Well then, Eugene it is.”

he actually fits on most of my fingers. best on my left ring finger but i have a tattoo there, and tats get priority.

 

I’m so attached to him now that if I forget to put him on in the morning, I get pouty. But I lose him all the time and then yell to my rommmates, “HAVE YOU SEEN EUGENE?!” Then we call him.

 

Turns out crabs are not incredibly responsive to their names.

#rude.

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