Bags of Adventure

I don’t wake up in the morning feelin’ like P. Diddy*. I wake up and think, once again, “Gluten is NEVER worth it. And WHY do i insist on such awful sleeping patterns?” Then: I roll out of bed (yes, actually roll, cause I’m all tangled in my blankets)

Clean up, pack, plan my day

Bank

Outlet Mall

Class (where I am now…blogging and doing homework because I want to be respectful, but listening to this man talk has the same affect as telling me to be still….an extreme LACK of stillness)

Work

Hour-long meeting about new job (starts in two weeks)

Hour-Long meeting about current job (ends in six weeks)

Lingerie party (explains the outlet mall)

Karaoke

Dancing on Dirty Sixth because I love Tenaya.

Go home and sleep until 7am, to ramp up for tomorrow’s adventures, which will involve even more costume changes than today’s.

 

which is saying something.

 

part of today's survival kit. Not pictured: my backpack full of work & class activities.

 

Because what i’m wearing now will change at 5, again at 8, again at 11, and once more whenever I get home (hallelujah).

 

In other words, my life is always an adventure, never boring, and full of bags.

 

*I almost linked to that video. Then I saw the sidebar. KE$HA IS NOT SAFE ON YOUTUBE. thatisall

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The Layers of Hell

If you’d like to know a little more about the time I learned that Martin Luther is sandwiched betwixt Hilter and Hussein,

go here.

 

y’all don’t get huffy. Hell is not funny. High school projects made to help understand a literary work on Hell are.

is Hell, the place, a proper noun? Can I play that in wordswithfriends? how about bananagrams?

Strawberry Kisses

before I knew i was a gluten-sickie (meaning i eat gluten and get sick, but haven’t been diagnosed as intolerant. ppl get snippy over these things), i didn’t much like food.

i mean i liked it

and i ate too much,

but i got sick all the time and readily considered that if i could take a pill or something instead of eating, even if that meant i never got to eat again, i’d do it!

life is better, knowing what food to avoid so that I can enjoy what i do have.

like strawberries. i can eat strawberries and i ENJOY them.  especially when they’re really ripe. on the verge of going bad (but not there yet) still firm, super sweet,

and if you add a glass of the right ::ahem:: grape juice – mercy, i’m over the moon for these little fruits!

I consider (lots of things when i drink grape juice;)  that a good kiss ought often (like, in romantic settings) to be like a good strawberry. had at the proper time,  a point at which not having it would be a waste, and having had it before would be to have a lesser thing.

it ought, perhaps, to have the same firmness. like something you can bite into, consume, a kiss ought not be merely lips touching (after all, can not a kiss on the cheek or neck or hand be just as rapturous, though different?) but an experience to be breathed in, to be tasted.

i bought my first "lip stain" yesterday.

anyway my point is i like strawberries and i like kisses and i like my kisses like i like my strawberries:

sweet.

Tradish

Are you a fan or a not-fan of the abbreves people make?

As in presh instead of precious

or perf instead of perfect

or, abbreve instead of abbreviate, for that matter.

Maybe it’s not something that happens a lot where you are, but my people do it all.the.time. Maybe it’s a phase. Anyway, none of that is ACTUALLY the point but as someone who once met a man named “Steven” and proceeded instead to call him “steamboat” for the next seven years, I’d just like to get a gauge on what the rest of the world considers cute colloquial charm and what they instead deem as just ridiculous. Or, in my case, ridic. ;)

But the ACTUAL point of this post is to give one of those more traditional updates. I’m going to try my hardest to make perfectly plain sense (and not Palin sense, as I just typed accidentally, because I don’t ever want to live in Alaska) but we’ll see how far that takes us.

purely because i never used this photo before. this was in february, i believe.

School: In case you missed it, I’m pursuing an M.A. in Professional Counseling. I expect to graduate between August of 2013 and May of 2014. It’s a very long Master’s program. (61 hours, max 9 hours per semester, 6 hours per summer). After my first two semesters, I have a 3.8 GPA.  I hate that I only had a 4.0 for one semester, but that’s just because I’m prideful. There is nothing wrong with a 3.8. I’m learning a lot and will be in school this summer learning more, even though it will cost me time in the sunshine. The fact that I can say that with a smile is a miracle in itself.

i realize these photos don't at all match up, but i just thought this one was funny, and also hadn't been used.

Social: I am NOT dating anyone. Back in April I went through a break up so emotionally wrought that I actually flinch/shudder whenever I see the man I was dating. Sometimes things just hurt more than you can explain. Sorry, i’d be more poetic, but i’m trying to just be clear so the people who don’t see me that often can know what’s going on. My friendships are growing, though, and it seems just about every day I find myself thinking, “I have more amazing friends than i can count. How can one girl be so loved?” But i am kinda touch deprived (my own fault. After the break up, I got a little gun shy about being touched. Weird reaction, I know).

on the way home from TN during spring break. it's like spiritual. ;)

Spiritual: I’ve totally dropped the REAP plan but do still make time to read the Bible almost every day. I’ve even started reading a chapter of John every morning when I wake up to help me actually get out of bed (as opposed to twitter or google reader. My phone has all of those options). I’m journaling more again (I probably always journaled more than “average” but I’m actually getting back up to “normal” for me.

getting less and less related

Shackled: My felony accusation is still pending. Yes, you read that right. I was accused of a felony, and found out a year later (about 2 months ago) when someone stole from my wallet and then I got arrested. My bail cost more than I make in a year. Yes, you read that right as well. It was an odd night. Not my best, not my worst, and a funny story that I’ll type up someday. Anyway,I didn’t do what I was accused of and even have proof  (police and auto insurance records) to prove I didn’t, but I still have to have a lawyer present those things. I wish I could say I’ve proven faithful through it, but the truth is it’s wearing on me more than I realize. My stutter has presented twice in the past week. I’m learning a LOT through it, stuff that could go up in that spiritual section above, but i lack the right words to describe it now, so maybe I’ll tell you about it later.

i. love. my. bubs!! he does NOT love me taking his pic.

Sibling, etc: Family stuff is just as crazy as it normally is. People fighting, medical issues, surprise funsies, and facebook shenanigans. Par for the course on our insane, multi-cultural, never-boring course.

20 points if you can figure out what I'm doing here.

What else might you want to know? This fall I start working at The Austin Stone Counseling Center (a job with an hourly pay NOT involoving fundraising). So I’ll still be working for the church in the sense that I’ll be working at their Counseling Center. But it’s a more 9-5 m-f job. And I’ll still be in school full time. And I’ll move SOMEwhere at some point after the 1st of August, which is still exciting if for no other reason than I’ll be just shy of a year in the same place. The longest i’ve been anywhere since 2002. I’ve been working out more (meaning at all), and enjoy going to the gym 2-4 times a week to get in some quick time on the elliptical. Which is really a result of me taking self-care more seriously.

Questions? Questions? No?

Insomnia/Falling in the Toilet/I’m a Klingon

You see this face?

THIS face

THIS is the face of a girl who just fell in her dang toilet.

I’ve been talking lately about love. How the love songs I’m hearing and the engagment stories I get to be a part of and the weddings i go to and heck, even the friend’s-future-spouses I pray for just make my heart happy. But you know the point at which all this crap (and i totally say this with a smile on my face) gets old? The point at which your roommate’s fiance leaves the toilet seat up!

a girl's hiney oughta be SAFE in her own home!

I’M LOOKING AT YOU, CAPITÀN!

Oh, and you see this braid?

i like the natural poses

yeah, I finally learned how to do that little lauren conrad braid in a way that stays (i.e i’m not messing with my bangs all day). Except I scrunch up my forehead a lot. So I can’t tell if it’s totes adorbs…

alien look enhanced with hair down

or if I look like I’m half klingon.

he's so saucy.

oh my holy hottness, y'all. Try not to stumble.

so it’s equally likely i’ll wear one all the time or never again. Except for tomorrow. cause I don’t want to wash my hair.

anyway, i have to wake up for FOUR STRAIGHT HOURS of class in the morning, enbeedee. Just can’t sleep so it seemed like a good time for a photo shoot.

Movie Review: Thor

y’all I am so sorry. i’ve been out of town for a week and I’m still gone till tomorrow so long story short: I completely forgot to set blogs to post. This isn’t much of one but hopefully you’ll still love me regardless. (irregardless!! ::shudder::)

I went to go see Thor last night. I was super emotional and brought my blankie AND food and when the guy asked me what I had I said food and he said he didn’t believe me and when I showed him, he said, “Okay, I’ll let you this time.” And I, in no uncertain eyeballs, looked at him with a look that said “yes. you will.” Because I’m so kind and considerate and obedient to all movie rules.

Anyway, i love comic books movies. Jacob (dr. z) had to teach me HOW to love them “Ritz. This is NOT a movie. IT’s a comic book on screen.” OH! Good, now I have adjusted my expectations and I. am. in. love. They’re so silly and fantastical and funny. Thor was not exception.

Now I have a degree in film, which means I paid (actually I didn’t, some rich people who liked me did) an exorbitant amount of money to learn how to be a snob about film. Therefore, I give you the following review of  THOR.

dang, boy!

i wanna see it again.

thatisallandiloveyougoodbye.

Explosions on the Counter

::just a little anachronistic, for funsies, post. because my belle brought strawberries and winter branch left me champy champs. and I’m packing. and listening to boyce avenue. and i got to fall in love with baby waverly tonite. le sigh::

sometimes when your roommate gets ready for a date, she explodes ALL OVER THE COUNTER

take it in, folks

and sometimes….

i swear this was not staged. reading glasses and a waterbottle? really?!

Sometimes, YOU are that roommate. Or….I am.

I’m so so sorry, Mel.

(I did clean up, by the way.)

why did i insist she be in the photo, while she was brushing her teeth? cause im eeeevil.

On Mondays You Expect a Post

and I’m not sure i’ll be able to write one, so for now, here’s a recap of my day that it’s entirely likely only I will care about.

Mel had hermit crabs at the apt. one crawled out of it’s shell and died. (a bit dramatic of a reaction, i know.) but she asked me to take them up to the high school for the middle school ministry to use (don’t ask) and i did. Except no one was there when i got there, so i left them on a table outside the room where they meet. Later, E, the dude working that site’s jr high event, tracks me down, throws his hands in the air, and shouts,

“DO YOU HAVE MY CRABS?!”

Apparently he hadn’t found them. My cell had a similar message from mel.

“Yes, woman. Eric got the crabs. And THIS is a ridiculous conversation.”

So there you have it. Eric has crabs and I’m probably 15 for thinking thats funny but whatever, I’m putting it all out there.

A cop made fun of my fedora. but a tall good looking man (albeit beardless) complimented me on it and then smiled at me a while, so i’m calling that a win.

I got to teach the lesson to five classes of preschoolers. I hooked em with the line, “BUT THEN, KING SAUL HAD TO GO POTTY!!” and doing a little potty dance. then we all practiced being little creepers. You know, like david, when he crept up to King Saul in the cave where he was pottying. Whatever. it worked and the kids all repeated the bottom line, “GOD HAS THE BEST PLAN FOR MY LIFE.” It just so happens that this morning, a potty dance was in that plan.

The lesson today was so great to hear. Like the one given from the stage. Not the one I taught. Geez, I’m not that vain out loud. And they are recording a live album at my church. I don’t know how I feel about it. I got used to hearing Chris Tomlin live and now I can’t stand his recorded stuff ’cause it’s like Taco Bell compared to gamma’s cooking. i can’t handle the processed, packaged version, no matter how good it is. (I mean, not that Taco Bell is good. Taco Bell is a result of the fall of man, ppl friends.)

in a situation on which i will elaborate later, maybe, I had to take a person aside and say “someone told me that you said something mean about me.” Yeah, i sounded just that much like a 5 yr old when it happened, to. But it turns out that it was a misunderstanding (like i said, elaboration later) and afterward I was able to concentrate on worship. God tell us how to do things for a reason.

During lunch, I did The Dancer’s hair and make up for a wedding. Not her wedding. But “You’re doing my hair when i get married, you know that, right. and you’re pretty much the maid of honor. So you’ll need to live with me the week of the wedding.” “You know, last two times I was pretty much the maid of honor, literally the exact same thing happened. So, yeah, i figured. ” ;)

I also went to a meeting where I had such bad breath that I asked the man leading to step away as I asked a question. He obliged. But he made faces at me. Actually, the faces were earlier. I told him he was imitating me wrong and he said, “Uhm, duh. I’m right. I can see you.” “Yeah, but I can see YOU, and you’re doing me wrong. It looks different with a beard.” “Everything looks different with a beard.” Couldn’t have said it truer myself.

The 5 was so crazy i literally don’t remember most of it. Good crazy, though. OH! I do remember that one little lovey was coloring and all of the sudden stopped, looked up, and said, “OH! And excuse me.” Apparently she’d ::ahem:: released some pent-up frustration. The kind that was making her tummy hurt. She was all smiles after that.

At the 7, I got to hold a screaming baby. Which may not sound like your cup of tea, but I prayed for the Holy Spirit to come and calm his heart, and every time he calmed down, I prayed out loud, “Let’s thank the Holy Spirit little baby, for giving us peace in our hearts.” And when he would cry ‘daddy, daddy,” I could say, “I know baby. But Jesus missed his daddy too sometimes. He understands your pain and he can comfort you.” Eventually he calmed down and we went upstairs (he kept asking to go….turns out he wanted to hear the music!! he “sang” along, too) where two men who have better things to do gave me mad props for being a super nanny. Yep, i’ll take it. I’ll take the compliment knowing full well it’s 100% the Holy Spirit, but I’m glad he chooses to work through me.

Plus the baby was ADORABUNS. Total chick magnet. And dude magnet. Better than a puppy.

Speaking of better than a puppy, I found a cute little baby opossum (seriously, he was cute!! like if someone made a stuffed animal of an opossum that didn’t really look like one but was a cute version of one, that would be the little baby i found). I tried to play with him by enticing him with left over chipotle on a fork. He was gonna go for it, but i was late and had to go. Poor thing. he’s probably sad he missed the chance to play with me.

then i drove home and blogged. cause im cool.

LOVE YOU!

Twenty Truths and a Lie

Have you ever played that game “Two Truths and a Lie?”

It’s a getting-to-know-you game that you play with people who haven’t heard your life story. You tell them two true things and one false thing and they guess which one is the falsie. (Oh mercy. Augmentation jokes running through my head!) 

Well since I’ve been off-line for 6.5 weeks, I decided I will tell you all about my adventures – but first I’m going to make a list of them and one will be an adventure that I did not have (although maybe one I want to) and it’s up to you to figure out which one did NOT happen. Then, once you’ve guessed, I’ll go through telling, or at least summarizing, the stories.

Yes, I’m going to purposely tell the truth but kinda stretch it to be funny and challenging on this list. BECAUSE IT’S A FUN GAME, PEOPLE FRIENDS!  I’ll clarify upon elaborations. Ready?

1) I got arrested and became (or realized I was) an accused felon.

2) I tuned into a mermaid.

3) Bruce (my car) denied me access to himself. Twice.

4) Bruce (Willis) just made me fall more in twitterpation.

5) With much alacrity (almost not sarcasm) decided to start selling my body for money.

6) A surprise trip to San Antonio with a boy turned into pretty pretty baked goods for me and the squeezies.  A surprise trip to Dallas turned into an awful fight.

7) A planned trip to Tennessee showed me my sin and how much I need a travel buddy.

8) I finally, not of my own choice,  gave up my lovey. 25 years was all the life he had in him.

9)  After hearing mean awful things from a mouth pledged to protect, I saw myself the way God did.

10) I signed up for my first counseling conference. I’ll go w a woman called dust and a man named after a gun.

11) Oh and speaking of counseling,  last week in class, we had a memorial service for a cat. We all sat and mourned a cat we never met.

12) I finally started the process to get official on the dyslexia diagnosis.

13) coincidentally? I started going blind.

14) And deaf.

15)  Being away from posting social media was not hard.

16) Admitting that I metaphorically run to reading other’s social media posts was. So I started cutting myself off from google reader. Or, I thought about it at least.

17) Broke from lawyer fees and stressed for time, I decided to buy and re purpose patio furniture. #logic

18) Starting LTG with two amazing ladies showed me that I have THE best friends. But no best friend. It also made me realize that $50 is not always too much to spend on dinner.

19) I considered that I might have the gift. You know. THE gift. ;)

adorabuns. can't we all just get along?

20)I started, went through, and ended a relationship mostly kept from those around me.

21) I spent my favorite day of the year with a few thousand of my closest relatives.

And there you have it, peoplefriends. So what’s you’re best guess? Leave comments below and I’ll make cookies or something for the first person who correctly guesses.